30 Days Out (From Christmas): NSFW ‘X’-Mas

CAUTION: Pretty much everything in today’s post is NOT SAFE FOR WORK.  It may not be safe any other place, for that matter.

Day 15 – When I was a kid my favorite part of Christmas were the parties that our parents went to, when they had to drag the kids along.  Usually what happened during the early part of the party was pretty tame, but they’d tuck in the kids (all in one bedroom far from the action) and when they thought we were asleep the fun would start.

Now we’re talkin’ the 1960s here, so there were highballs and maybe some dancing but then the party records would come out.  They were special albums usually by a comedian or a nightclub singer with “adult” material – usually double entendres or a little more explicit stuff.  Kay Martin & Her Body Guards were pretty popular, and later on, Redd Foxx and guys like Dolemite carried the party album into the 1970s.

Later on in life I encountered High Society magazine, which had as a figurehead “editor” one Gloria Leonard, who was also a porn star of the 1970s.  One issue from that era had a special Christmas flexi-disc in the magazine, and I actually played it.  Gloria gave a Christmas gift to her special guy, and she described it in explicit, almost clinical, detail – I was nearly shocked.  Nearly. 

So to get to the point, on the other side of the jump you will find some holiday tunes that pay tribute to the Big Nasty.  Bumpin’ boots with Santa, Mommy kissing (and doing much more) with Santa.  Actually the Kay Martin and the Candye Kane stuff is rather mild.  But the rest of the songs posted are all uncut and very explicit, and downloadable.  Keep in mind they are NOT SAFE FOR WORK so if you play them elsewhere, shut the door.  And make sure the kids are asleep.

CAUTION:  One more time: This stuff is nasty as hell.  It is NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!!

MP3: “I Know What You Want For Christmas” by Kay Martin & Her Body Guards

MP3: “The Twelve Days Of Christmas” by Kay Martin & Her Body Guards

MP3: “Up Your Chimney” by Kay Martin & Her Body Guards

MP3: “Fuck Christmas, I Got The Blues” by the Legendary Tiger Man

MP3: “You Ain’t Gettin’ Shit For Christmas” by Red Peters

MP3: “Merry Muthafuckin’ Xmas” by Eazy E and Dolemite

MP3: “I’ve Got A Boner For Christmas” by Nerf Herder

MP3: “I Hate Fuckin’ Christmas” by Steve Poltz

MP3: “Frosty The Pervert” Artist Unknown

MP3: “I Saw Mommy Fucking Santa Claus” Artist Unknown

MP3: “Suck On My Cock” Artist Unknown

MP3: “Pilgrim In The Temple Of Love” (live) by Bruce Springsteen

MP3: “Let’s Put The X Back In Christmas” by Candye Kane & Dick Montana