Seems like we have a little swine flu problem on our hands. Now you know what to do: call in sick, even if you don’t feel too bad. No use taking any chances. Turn on the TV, that will certainly help to calm you down. Fox News Channel is particularly calming – according to them, it’s all Obama’s fault for not building that wall along the Rio Grande.
OK, you know what the symptoms are. Fatigue. Fever. Chills. Nausea. Vomiting. The same things you get from watching Fox News Channel. You can’t get it from a pig, you can’t get it from bacon, but you can get it from Barbara Bush (even though she has a pig valve in her heart). You can also get it from your wife, your kids and all of your friends. Cover your mouth when you sneeze, listen to all of these songs, take two aspirin and call us in the morning.
And from our friends in Mexico, the “Swine Flu Cumbia.” Gracias!