Swine Flu Alert!
Seems like we have a little swine flu problem on our hands. Now you know what to do: call in sick, even if you don’t feel too bad. No use taking any chances. Turn on the TV, that will certainly help to calm you down. Fox News Channel is particularly calming – according to them, it’s all Obama’s fault for not building that wall along the Rio Grande.
OK, you know what the symptoms are. Fatigue. Fever. Chills. Nausea. Vomiting. The same things you get from watching Fox News Channel. You can’t get it from a pig, you can’t get it from bacon, but you can get it from Barbara Bush (even though she has a pig valve in her heart). You can also get it from your wife, your kids and all of your friends. Cover your mouth when you sneeze, listen to all of these songs, take two aspirin and call us in the morning.
MP3: “Rockin’ Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu” by Huey “Piano” Smith & the Clowns
MP3: “I’m So Tired” by the Beatles
MP3: “Chest Fever” by the Band
MP3: “Calling Dr. Love” by Kiss
MP3: “Shakin’ All Over” by the Swingin’ Blue Jeans
MP3: “Comfortably Numb” by Pink Floyd
MP3: “Rockin’ Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu” (live) by the Grateful Dead
MP3: “Dear Doctor” by the Rolling Stones
MP3: “Ambulance Man” by the Felice Brothers
MP3: “I’m A Hog For You” by Clifton Chenier
MP3: “Rock and Roll Doctor” by Little Feat
MP3: “Rockin’ Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu” by the Flamin’ Groovies
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention swine flu facts
And from our friends in Mexico, the “Swine Flu Cumbia.” Gracias!
30 Days Out 
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