Play Ball! 2012 Edition

The original "Wild Thing," from the movie Major League ... and last year, in real life.

This week, we begin another baseball season. Aside from the winter holidays of Christmas and Thanksgiving, this is the time of year when you hear the most cliches. Bullshit springs eternal in baseball, and with that in mind here are some of our favorite baseball quotes:

“Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.”  ~Ted Williams

“Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.” ~Yogi Berra

“Strikeouts are boring – besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls. More democratic.” ~From the movie Bull Durham

“You don’t save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.”  ~Leo Durocher in the New York Times, May 1965

“Just a reminder, fans, comin’ up is our ‘die-hard night’ here at the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won a pennant.” ~From the movie Major League

“Hey, I want to be a Cardinal forever.”  ~Albert Pujols, now a California Angel

And our all-time favorite: “I’ll tell you one f**kin’ thing, I hope we get f**kin’ hotter than sh*t, just to stuff it up them 3,000 f**kin’ people that show up every f**kin’ day, because if they’re the real Chicago f**kin’ fans, they can kiss my f**kin’ ass right downtown and PRINT IT.” ~Lee Elia, News Conference Tirade 1983

Well, there is not much else to say.  Except: play ball!

MP3: “Get The F**kin’ Job Done” by Lee Elia (NSFW)

MP3: “Who’s On First?” by Abbott & Costello

MP3: “Willie, Mickey & “The Duke (Talkin’ Baseball)” by Terry Cashman

MP3: “Go Cubs Go!” by Steve Goodman

MP3: “Centerfield” by John Fogerty

MP3: “Brown Eyed Handsome Man” (alternate version) by Chuck Berry

MP3: “The Ball Game” by Sister Wynona Carr

MP3: “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” by Bob Dylan

MP3: “Tessie” by the Dropkick Murphys

MP3: “All The Way” by Eddie Vedder

MP3: “The Fenway” by Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers

MP3: “Catfish” by Kinky Friedman

MP3: “Go Go Astros” by Mack Hayes

MP3: “Glory Days” by Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band

MP3: “Lima Time!” by the Baseball Project

MP3: “Nolan Ryan (He’s A Hero To Us All)” by Jerry Jeff Walker

MP3: “New York Mets” by Duke of Iron

MP3: “All Future and No Past” by the Baseball Project

The Unofficial Official Lee Elia Tirade Page

The Official Site of Major League Baseball

The Baseball Almanac

YouTube: Ozzy Osbourne sings “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” at Wrigley Field


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