Worst Christmas Songs Ever: “Santa Baby”

This is one that just gets on my last nerve. Every time it comes on I can’t change the channel fast enough. The tune, which tells the tale of a woman asking Jolly Old St. Nick for extravagant gifts, was written by Joan Javits and Phillip Springer in 1953. It was first recorded by Eartha Kitt that same year and has since been done by everyone from Madonna to Calista Flockhart.

I’m guessing the song is supposed to be sexy, but for me it’s about a thousand miles away. It just sounds like a rich girl whining to her wealthy old husband (dressed up like Santa, of course) for more and hinting at sex that most likely will never take place. After he falls asleep, because he’s in late 80s, she’ll max out his credit card and he’ll wake up and wonder what the hell happened. He’ll eventually die, she’ll get all his money, and then fight with his kids in court for years. I’m thinking I may have read way too much into this song.

Here is one of the worst versions performed by Madonna…

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