Play Ball! 2012 Edition

The original "Wild Thing," from the movie Major League ... and last year, in real life.

This week, we begin another baseball season. Aside from the winter holidays of Christmas and Thanksgiving, this is the time of year when you hear the most cliches. Bullshit springs eternal in baseball, and with that in mind here are some of our favorite baseball quotes:

“Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.”  ~Ted Williams

“Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.” ~Yogi Berra

“Strikeouts are boring – besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls. More democratic.” ~From the movie Bull Durham

“You don’t save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.”  ~Leo Durocher in the New York Times, May 1965

“Just a reminder, fans, comin’ up is our ‘die-hard night’ here at the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Indians won a pennant.” ~From the movie Major League

“Hey, I want to be a Cardinal forever.”  ~Albert Pujols, now a California Angel

And our all-time favorite: “I’ll tell you one f**kin’ thing, I hope we get f**kin’ hotter than sh*t, just to stuff it up them 3,000 f**kin’ people that show up every f**kin’ day, because if they’re the real Chicago f**kin’ fans, they can kiss my f**kin’ ass right downtown and PRINT IT.” ~Lee Elia, News Conference Tirade 1983

Well, there is not much else to say.  Except: play ball!

MP3: “Get The F**kin’ Job Done” by Lee Elia (NSFW)

MP3: “Who’s On First?” by Abbott & Costello

MP3: “Willie, Mickey & “The Duke (Talkin’ Baseball)” by Terry Cashman

MP3: “Go Cubs Go!” by Steve Goodman

MP3: “Centerfield” by John Fogerty

MP3: “Brown Eyed Handsome Man” (alternate version) by Chuck Berry

MP3: “The Ball Game” by Sister Wynona Carr

MP3: “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” by Bob Dylan

MP3: “Tessie” by the Dropkick Murphys

MP3: “All The Way” by Eddie Vedder

MP3: “The Fenway” by Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers

MP3: “Catfish” by Kinky Friedman

MP3: “Go Go Astros” by Mack Hayes

MP3: “Glory Days” by Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band

MP3: “Lima Time!” by the Baseball Project

MP3: “Nolan Ryan (He’s A Hero To Us All)” by Jerry Jeff Walker

MP3: “New York Mets” by Duke of Iron

MP3: “All Future and No Past” by the Baseball Project

The Unofficial Official Lee Elia Tirade Page

The Official Site of Major League Baseball

The Baseball Almanac

YouTube: Ozzy Osbourne sings “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” at Wrigley Field

Chili time again!

Editor’s note: This is a repost of a previous entry – kinda like a warmed up bowl of chili. 

We have done this post a few times but with cold, chilly weather gripping most of the country it seems like staying home and makin’ a big pot o’ chili is a good idea.  And with football season in full swing, it is especially timely.

The classic recipe, supplied by the good folks who brew Texas’ Lone Star Beer, is available above (click the picture for a larger version).  It’s pretty simple, but here is another recipe from the Austin newspaper that is a multi-meat extravaganza.  Just for fun (and, depending where you live, for ridicule) here are some chili recipes from the Food Network. One of the recipes has spaghetti!

On that last link above, you will notice of course that some of these chili recipes contain a healthy helping of beans.  As a native Texan, it is my duty to remind you that our state’s fine lawmakers some years ago passed a law outlawing the use of beans in chili.  I can’t tell you exactly when and, ah, … OK, I just made up that last part.

Just put in the damn beans if that’s what blows up your skirt.  But don’t blame me if that’s also what blows out your skirt.  Either way, keep a window open – no matter how cold it may be outside.

More stuff about chili, with a few more tunes, here.

MP3: “The Chili Song” by Gary P. Nunn

MP3: “Snow (Hey Oh)” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

MP3: “National Chili Anthem” by Isaac Peyton Sweat

MP3: “Cold As Ice” (live) by Foreigner

MP3: “The Old Country Waltz” by Neil Young

MP3: “Chili Con Conga” by Cab Calloway

MP3: “You Bring The Heat, I’ll Bring The Meat” by Jonny Z and Bobby Rivera

MP3: “Crusty Rolls and Chili” by the Duhks

MP3: “Cold Cold Heart” by Hank Williams

MP3: “Millie Make Some Chili” by Steve Goodman

MP3: “White Winter Hymnal” by Fleet Foxes

MP3: “Hot Chili” by the Steve Miller Band

Play Ball! 2011 Edition

NOTE: Tomorrow is apparently Major League Baseball’s official Opening Day, although they have some games today.The logo clearly says April 2011, although elsewhere on the MLB site it says March 31. Jeez. Just celebrate both days!

Today is opening day and, aside from the winter holidays of Christmas and Thanksgiving, the time of year when you hear the most cliches. You know, spring and new hopes and new expectations, life begins anew, blah blah.

Instead of that, why don’t we share some of our favorite baseball quotes:

“Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.”  ~Ted Williams

“Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.” ~Yogi Berra

“Strikeouts are boring – besides that, they’re fascist. Throw some ground balls. More democratic.” ~From the movie Bull Durham

“You don’t save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.”  ~Leo Durocher in the New York Times, May 1965

And our all-time favorite: “I’ll tell you one f**kin’ thing, I hope we get f**kin’ hotter than sh*t, just to stuff it up them 3,000 f**kin’ people that show up every f**kin’ day, because if they’re the real Chicago f**kin’ fans, they can kiss my f**kin’ ass right downtown and PRINT IT.” ~Lee Elia, News Conference Tirade 1983

Well, there is not much else to say.  Except: play ball!

MP3: “Get The F**kin’ Job Done” by Lee Elia (NSFW)

MP3: “Who’s On First?” by Abbott & Costello

MP3: “Willie, Mickey & “The Duke (Talkin’ Baseball)” by Terry Cashman

MP3: “Go, Cubs Go!” by Steve Goodman

MP3: “Brown Eyed Handsome Man” (alternate version) by Chuck Berry

MP3: “Go Go Astros” by Mack Hayes

MP3: “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” by Bob Dylan

MP3: “Tessie” by the Dropkick Murphys

MP3: “Glory Days” by Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band

MP3: “New York Mets” by Duke of Iron

MP3: “All Future and No Past” by the Baseball Project

The Unofficial Official Lee Elia Tirade Page

The Official Site of Major League Baseball

The Baseball Almanac

YouTube: Ozzy Osbourne sings “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” at Wrigley Field

YouTube: George Carlin, Baseball vs. football

Fixin’ up some chili

Here come those weird days of winter, after the holidays and before the Super Bowl, where we promptly forget about our New Year’s resolutions and do just about anything to stay warm and interested.  If you live in a part of the country where it’s cold – and that’s pretty much any place except Texas or Florida – you may want to give some thought to cookin’ up a big pot o’ chili.

A number of regions lay claim to creating the humble bowl of red, but the story I’ve heard most often is that the spicy meat concoction was created by the chili queens of 1880s-era San Antonio who came up with the recipe we still use and enhance to this day.   And of course, different cooks will put different ingredients in their versions of chili.

The big argument is whether or not to add beans to chili.  Now most enlightened thinkers say no, beans take up space that more meat could better occupy.  My in-laws, who live up in New York state, swear up and down that true chili has beans in it but what do they know – they consider grilled weenies real barbecue.  I suppose you can put anything you want in chili – including turkey, pork, duck, even beans – as long as you can find someone to eat it.  Count me out! (I saw a TV movie one time, I think it had Willie Nelson and Kris Kristofferson in it, and although the title escapes me I will never forget what one character said: “I’d have to kill somebody who put lima beans in my chili.”  Or something like that.)

A righteous pot of chili ought to contain some sort of beef, chiles (or chili powder) and maybe some tomato sauce if you roll that way.  For years I have used the recipe you see at the top of this post (click to enlarge it), supplied on a handy post card by the Lone Star Brewing Company of San Antonio, Texas.  I am fairly sure you can buy everything the recipe requires pretty much any place in the country; if you can’t find coarse ground beef you can always slap in a pound or two of hamburger.  My daughter went off to college and now she’s on some kind of anti-beef kick; now when she’s home I gotta use ground turkey in my chili.  That works, too.

The Terlingua Chili Championship - you've been warned.

Years ago I got this book, A Bowl of Red, by Texas writer Frank X. Tolbert and that’s supposed to be the bible of chili heads nationwide.   I kind of think this guy was full of bull (or Lone Star beer) when he wrote this book, because he even sings the praises of chili made at Chasen’s restaurant in Beverly Hills for movie stars, and he talks about how great some brands of canned chili are.  Well, I am partial to Wolf Brand in a can – but with no beans!

Anyway, the followers of this Tolbert fellow (he died a while back) still operate some kind of International Chili Appreciation Society and stage cookoffs in a place called Terlingua, along the Texas-Mexico border in the middle of freakin’ nowhere.  I never was a follower of organized religion, so I really don’t know what these chili heads stand for but like those beans, you are quite welcome to explore on your own.

Chili is of course the national dish of Texas, and when you are in Austin there is one great place to get some chili.  It’s called the Texas Chili Parlor, and it’s located on Lavaca Street near the Capitol.  They have all kinds of chili and other stuff (their enchiladas are pretty tasty) and they’ll even put beans in your bowl for you while looking the other way.  If you order their super-hot XXXX chili, before they serve it you have to sign a release saying you won’t hold them responsible for a heart attack or any catastrophes in your underwear.

I like the chili over at Shady Grove too, that’s a pretty nice place.  San Antonio has a bunch of great places to get chili (try La Paloma or Casa Rio on the Riverwalk) and in Houston, well, the best chili I’ve had here is at my house.  Check out the recipe above and play some of these tunes.  Enjoy your chili, with or without beans (remember to open a window), and here’s hoping it keeps you warm this winter!

MP3: “The Chili Song” by Gary P. Nunn

MP3: “Dublin Blues” by Guy Clark

MP3: “Good Texan” by the Vaughan Brothers

MP3: “What I Like About Texas” by Jerry Jeff Walker

MP3: “National Chili Anthem” by Isaac Peyton Sweat

MP3: “The Old Country Waltz” by Neil Young

MP3: “You Bring The Heat, I’ll Bring The Meat” by Jonny Z and Bobby Rivera

MP3: “Millie Make Some Chili” by Steve Goodman

MP3: “Hot Chili” by the Steve Miller Band

Required reading:

The Saga of Terlingua and Texas Chili – from the Dallas Morning News

Frank X. Tolbert’s original Texas chili recipe

Chili Appreciation Society Inc.

Chili info at the Tabasco website

Famous Chili Recipes

Play Ball!

At the Baseball Hall of Fame, Cooperstown NY

Starting pro baseball season in the middle of this big economic losing streak might be a good idea, or it might be a bad one.  Good idea – the simplicity and fun of America’s pastime might get our minds off our money woes.  Bad idea – we can’t afford a friggin’ ticket!

But we really have no choice: baseball has its own time, like the seasons.  It arrives, whether we are ready for it or not.  We will soon be wondering about lineups, starting pitchers, Manny, the damned Red Sox and lots more.

They should add a line to every player’s baseball card saying whether or not he took steroids.  They should have Bruce Springsteen play after one game in every ballpark in America.  And they should bring back Lee Elia.  Time to play ball.

MP3: “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” by the Hold Steady

MP3: “Who’s On First?” by Abbott & Costello

MP3: “Catfish” by Kinky Friedman

MP3: “Yankee Stadium” by Nils Lofgren

MP3: “Narragansett Beer” by Curt Gowdy

MP3: “Past Time” by the Baseball Project

MP3: “Go, Cubs, Go!” by Steve Goodman

MP3: “Hank Aaron’s 715th Home Run” by Milo Hamilton

MP3: “Baseball, Baseball” by Jane Morgan

MP3: “Baseball Bat” by Courtney Love

MP3: “Real Men of Genius: Mr. Designated Hitter” Bud Light commercial

MP3: “Centerfield” (live) by John Fogerty w/Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir and Clarence Clemons

MP3: “Get The F***ing Job Done” by Lee Elia

YouTube: “A Dying Cub Fan’s Last Request” by Steve Goodman (Thanks Ken Shane, for the suggestion!)

Repost: Time To Do The Right Thing

UPDATE: The Time is coming … time to pick a president.  We’re not going to tell you how to vote.  We are going to remind you it’s really important, though.  This appeared around the Fourth of July and we think it ought to go up again.  Listen to the tunes, do some research and make your choice. 

Sometimes it’s tough to figure out the world.  Why does everything cost so much, while human life seems so cheap?  Can we resolve our differences with other cultures without having to pick up a gun, or is it too late?  What is going to happen to us, to our children, and to their children?

Lost Classics! Steve Goodman

Our hometown heroes the Houston Astros shut down the wild Wrigley Field crowds the past three days and possibly hastened the Chicago Cubs’ inevitable free fall.  Whenever I see the Cubs my mind always produces a flash of singer Steve Goodman. 

Goodman was a singer-songwriter of the 1970s, he was a familiar face to anyone who watched TV shows like “The Midnight Special” or “In Concert” (late-night ABC) or “Don Kirschner’s Rock Concert.”  Goodman was playing in Chicago in 1971 when he encountered Arlo Guthrie and forced Guthrie to listen to a song he’d written.  “City of New Orleans” was the song, and it went on to become a huge hit for Guthrie in 1972; later it would be covered by many others including Johnny Cash, John Denver, Judy Collins and Willie Nelson.