Walkin’ To New Orleans: Let’s Go To The Mardi Gras!

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Ah yes, Mardi Gras. If this is your first time, welcome. I remember my first Mardi Gras in New Orleans, back around 1978 or so. I spent three days and nights there, and when I left I wondered “What the hell just happened?”

Mardi Gras is a party for the best of reasons: to have a party. Catholics say it’s to get all the deviltry and mischief out of your system before Lent sets in but if you go to New Orleans you get the impression most of these partygoers aren’t worried about sinning, church and stuff like that.

At Mardi Gras, you drink a lot. You stand around to yell and grovel for someone to toss you cheap colored beads and worthless coins. You drink some more. Women walk up to you and lift up their shirts, and their breasts are painted like big eyeballs. Prostitutes hit on you, transvestites hit on you, middle-aged male tourists from Des Moines hit on you. You need to drink some more.

So, as a public service, on the other side of the jump we give you the official 30 Days Out Mardi Gras Party Kit.

1. Recipe for Red Beans and Rice. Traditionally, you serve this on the Monday before Fat Tuesday (which is the day before Ash Wednesday). In other words, make it early next week.

2. Mardi Gras party mask. A safety tip: use the scissors first, drink later!

3. Beads. OK, we can’t pull that off on the web. But check your mom’s jewelry box – any old beads will do.

4. Parade. Download your own Mardi Gras parade, courtesy of Tabasco hot sauce.

5. New Orleans dialogue. “Yeah you right.” “I bet you five dollars I can tell you where you got dose shoes. You got dem on your feet!” “Who dat?!”

6. NOLA webcams. Tune in any time (Monday or Tuesday is the best) for a real-time view of what’s happening on Bourbon Street. (Might not be safe for work!)

7. The best thing about Mardi Gras is the best thing about New Orleans: the music. The greatest music in the world comes from the Crescent City, home of the greatest musicians in the world. No Mardi Gras party, no matter if it’s in the French Quarter or in Des Moines, is complete without authentic music.

This is just a taste – come back on Fat Tuesday and we’ll blow out some more Mardi Gras music. We have plenty of that. Yeah you right.

MP3: “Mardi Gras Mambo” by the Meters

MP3: “Shake Your Rugulator” by Bonerama

MP3: “Tipitina” by Professor Longhair

MP3: “Suck The Head” by the Radiators

MP3: “All On A Mardi Gras Day” by Dukes of Dixieland

MP3: “St. James Infirmary” by Hot Lips Page

MP3: “Yes We Can Can” by Allen Toussaint

MP3: “Two Way Pock-A-Way” by the Dixie Cups

MP3: “Eh La Bas” by Dr. John

MP3: “Way Down Yonder In New Orleans” by the Snake Oil Stompers

MP3: “Hey Pocky Way” by the Neville Brothers